Penn Station East Coast Subs

I ordered 2 subs (Turkey, bacon, ranch and a Philly cheese steak) and a turkey, bacon, ranch salad. When I got home (35 minutes from the restaurant), I was shocked at my salad only containing lettuce and two slices of bacon. There was no tomato nor turkey. I had to open my fridge and take out items to put on my salad. I am so mad that this salad cost me $9.99 and I only received a bowl of lettuce. In addition, the turkey, bacon, ranch sub was missing bacon. I took a picture of the order slips affixed to each order and neither stated to omit items. I was the only customer in the restaurant for a good 4-5 minutes after ordering my food before another customer came in. How do you omit items on a sub or salad that are the main ingredients.

I received a friendly greeting upon entering. They waited until I arrived for my pickup order to make the fries, which I appreciated, having them hot and fresh. I will be returning to try other menu options, but the cheesesteak was tasty.

Tiffany and the entire team at this Penn Station are so wonderful and warm. Always friendly, kind and so helpful. Everytime we come we are killed with kindness and it goes a long way in today’s world. We appreciate all you do and just want to say thank you and hope you stay blessed.

I’m usually not a sandwich person at all, but this Penn Station completely converted me. We end up here about once a week without fail. The freshly baked bread makes all the difference, and the fresh-cut fries are hands-down some of the best around.
What truly seals the deal is the crew. Every single time we walk in, the staff is welcoming, upbeat, and fast. Fantastic food backed by genuine hospitality—our absolute favorite weekly spot!

PROPOSED DSM-5-TR DIAGNOSTIC ENTITY

Penn Station Enmeshment Syndrome (PSES)

Proposed Classification: Other Specified Culinary-Related Obsessive-Compulsive and Sandwich-Associated Disorders

Diagnostic Description

Penn Station Enmeshment Syndrome is characterized by a persistent and progressively intensifying psychological attachment to Penn Station subs, Penn Station fries, and Penn Station sweet tea, resulting in the subject's inability to maintain appropriate emotional distance from the establishment.

Proposed Diagnostic Criteria

A. The individual develops an intense and persistent preoccupation with Penn Station subs and fries.

B. The individual repeatedly experiences intrusive thoughts such as:
«“I could really go for a Penn Station sub right now.”»

C. Consumption of a Penn Station sub produces disproportionately intense feelings of happiness, satisfaction, and emotional fulfillment.

D. The individual begins referring to the sub, fries, and sweet tea collectively as “the experience.”

E. The individual develops a compulsive need to alternate bites of Penn Station sub with bites of Penn Station fries despite having no medical, nutritional, or culinary justification for doing so.

F. The individual begins planning future Penn Station visits while still actively consuming the current meal.

G. The individual experiences difficulty accepting that the Penn Station meal will eventually end.

H. Following completion of the meal, the individual repeatedly asks:

«“Why did I only order one?”»

Associated Features

Individuals with PSES may exhibit:

- Unprovoked smiling
- Excessive discussion of Penn Station subs
- Posting photographs of their Penn Station meal online
- Describing Penn Station fries using unnecessarily emotional language
- Referring to crispy/burnt-end fries as “life-changing”
- Increased sweet-tea consumption
- Loss of interest in inferior sub sandwiches
- Irrational confidence that they could “easily eat another half”
- Immediate consideration of when they can return to Penn Station

Severity Specifiers

Mild: Thinks about Penn Station several times per week.

Moderate: Changes driving routes to pass near Penn Station.

Severe: Keeps Penn Station's location open on Google Maps.

Profound: Has already eaten a Penn Station sub but is contemplating going back for another one.

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PENN STATION WITHDRAWAL SYNDROME

Following prolonged exposure to Penn Station, abrupt cessation may result in the following symptoms:

Within 24 Hours

- Penn Station sub cravings
- Increased irritability
- Recurrent thoughts about Penn Station
- Persistent awareness of inadequate French fries

48–72 Hours

- Fantasizing about Penn Station crispy fry ends
- Searching “Penn Station near me”
- Emotional fixation on Penn Station sweet tea
- Beginning sentences with:
«“You know what would be really good right now?”»

72+ Hours

Severe cases may progress to:

Acute Penn Station Withdrawal Syndrome (APWS)

Symptoms include:

- Restlessness
- Anhedonia
- Sub-sandwich dissatisfaction
- Inability to enjoy ordinary fries
- Compulsive scrolling through the Penn Station menu
- Repeatedly saying, “Nothing else tastes like it.”
- Driving toward Penn Station without consciously deciding to do so

RELAPSE

Relapse is extremely common.

A single exposure to a 12-inch Penn Station sub accompanied by fries may result in immediate reinstatement of the disorder.

PROGNOSIS

Unfortunately, there is currently no known cure.

Treatment is generally supportive.

The most effective intervention appears to be another Penn Station sub, accompanied by fries and sweet tea.

Long-term abstinence is not recommended.

DSM-5-TR Disclaimer: Penn Station Enmeshment Syndrome and Penn Station Withdrawal Syndrome are entirely fictional and should not be confused with any recognized psychiatric diagnoses.