A Guide to the Bull City for Loved Ones with Cognitive Impairment

I love Durham, that's a fact. The incredible diversity, the culture of creativity, the plethora of restaurants and festivals and museums and parks and shops and events… (I could go on) — what's not to love?

As a Geriatric Care Manager who works primarily with folks living with dementia, I've come to appreciate our city even more as I see it through my clients' eyes; Durham is home to some seriously inclusive spaces and places. Initiatives like Aging Well Durham are working towards a safe, affordable, accessible and connected community for aging adults. Nonprofits like Dementia Inclusive, Inc. are helping strengthen inclusive support and services for people living with dementia and their care partners. It's a fact: our city is prioritizing social inclusion for older adults.

There are so many things for visitors of all ages and cognitive abilities to enjoy in the Bull City. But when hosting someone living with dementia, it can take a little extra work to plan an itinerary that's sure to be a success. Considerations like accessibility, noise levels and crowd tolerance come into play, so some advanced planning can make a huge difference. There are lots of great options, but here are some of my personal recommendations for places to check out when you’re traveling with a loved one with dementia:

For a fresh and healthy brunch, lunch, or dinner: Refectory Cafe

Some restaurant environments can be overstimulating for friends with cognitive impairment; Refectory Cafe is not one of those places. You'll find covered outdoor seating and indoor table options, plus plenty of accessible parking spaces. The menu is easy to understand and features lots of reminiscent classics like French Toast and Eggs Benedict. Best of all, they have lots of gluten-free and vegetarian options, are always accepting of substitutions and never rush you to make a decision when ordering.

For a no frills lunch or dinner: The Loop

Who doesn't love nostalgic favorites like thick, creamy milkshakes and perfectly crispy onion rings?! The Loop boasts a mouthwatering, all-American menu that will satisfy diners of all ages and abilities. With indoor and outdoor seating, it's a casual, family-friendly environment where everyone can feel comfortable around the table.

For special occasions and celebrations: Bleu Olive

You could drive by Bleu Olive a dozen times and never notice it tucked into the corner of Croasdaile Commons, but once you've eaten there, you'll understand why it's one of Durham's hidden gems. The slightly swanky Mediterranean bistro is popular among many, but a particular favorite of older adults due to the calm, quiet vibes and attentive, patient wait staff. Plus, there's a large parking lot and accessible entry. The menu includes options like grilled octopus and fried oysters for the more adventurous eaters, and steak frites or crab cakes for those wanting something more classic. Make a reservation for a classy night out with your loved one.

Gentle Yoga at Duke Health and Fitness

You don't have to be a gym member to enjoy a Gentle Yoga class at Duke's Center for Living Health and Fitness. For a $15 drop-in fee, yogis of all abilities can attend this "supportive and relaxing yoga class perfect for those new to yoga who may be working with mobility challenges, chronic pain, or injury." The instructor's clear demonstrations make it easy for folks with dementia to follow along — and the class's judgement-free zone makes it OK if you don't follow along, too!

Bowlero

Visiting the bowling lane can also prompt a trip down memory lane — a recent game at Bowlero reminded my friend with dementia of a date she went on in high school 70 years ago. The staff is welcoming to bowlers of all types and offers wheelchair access, gutter bumpers, ball ramps and more. Book a lane in advance (and make sure your loved one isn't sensitive to loud noises.)

Pro Tip: Bowling alleys always have fun music. In between turns of bowling, ask your loved one if they want to get up and boogie. Research shows the link between music and memory remains strong even during dementia.

Wednesday Farmer's Market

The Saturday morning downtown market is lots of fun – but is also usually crowded and can be a lot for someone living with dementia. So, head out to the Wednesday afternoon farmer's market instead (April-November only). With fewer vendors, there's lots more open space and less noise. Check the market socials ahead of time to see when the special Senior Days are scheduled; all older adults get $10 to spend.

Thrift Stores

Durham is home to some amazing thrift stores: New Nearly New, Trosa and Durham Rescue Mission, to name a few. Take your loved one on an adventure through the aisles. Some of the antique and vintage items might spark a memory or a story.

Pro Tip: Make a game out of the experience by picking out fun outfits to try on. Don't forget to snap a pic!

Produce Markets

Check out Perkins Orchard for everything from candy apples and paint-your-own pumpkins, and head to Waller Family Farm when it's the season to pick your own strawberries. These local establishments are ripe for meaning-making moments.

Live Music Venues

For lots of people living with dementia, their connection to and appreciation for music lasts longer than anything else. Check out local hotspots like Lula and Sadie's Jazz Brunch, Boxyard RTP's "Hear and There" Series, The Blue Note Grill have nearly nightly shows. Take cash to tip the band.

The Nasher Museum of Art at Duke University

Some of the best client experiences I've had have been at The Nasher. The peaceful, bright, quiet (and free!) art museum is always a safe and welcoming environment. Want an even more specialized experience? Check out their inclusive and accessible "Reflections" tour specifically tailored for people with dementia and their care partners.

Pro Tip: Allow time to enjoy lunch in the Nasher Cafe. The food is delicious, and the staff is some of the most accommodating I've encountered. (They gladly let my client return multiple beverages until she was happy!)

A Class at 1:11 Art and Healing Space

I've seen Andria host "wine and design" events at a senior living community, and she was so patient — and talented. In addition to standard sessions, she offers classes for mature adults as well as private engagements. Use the form on her website to reach out and see what she can offer you and your loved one.

21c Museum Hotel

There's so much to feast your senses on here… from the modern art gallery upstairs to the food at Counting House restaurant on the lower level. 21c is a bit smaller than some other art museums, so it's less overwhelming for guests who may have differences in attention span.

Pro Tip: Every inch of the hotel and restaurant is covered with conversation-starters. Ask your loved one how each piece makes them feel, or to describe it in just one word. There are no wrong answers.

Durham County Public Library

I'm partial to the gorgeous Main Library downtown, but all of Durham's libraries are wonderfully accommodating to folks with cognitive differences. And you won't believe the breadth and depth of programming specifically for seniors. Head to the website and filter by "Senior Citizen" in the "Audience" dropdown menu on the digital calendar — visitors are welcome at library groups like "Social Stitchers," "Morning Knitting," "Mahjong" and especially… "Memory Cafe," specifically for people living with dementia and their care partners.

Rock Quarry Dog Park

I once facilitated a group activity with folks with dementia about the five senses. When I asked about their favorite thing to touch, one answer kept repeating: dogs. So take your loved one to Rock Quarry Dog Park behind Edison Johnson. There are nice benches for comfortable seating and lots of tall trees for shady coverage. Note that there is a short walking path from the parking lot to the dog park.

Pro Tip: Take a handful of treats (and ask the owners if it's ok to spoil their pooch, you never want to upset a pup — or its human.)

In a perfect world, every single place and space would be inclusive of people living with dementia and their care partners; and I believe Durham can and will one day become that place. But for now, take my word for it: this list is a great place to start. Happy adventuring!